Apparently "I do" is the answer to that question. You know, at the time I really thought the lesson was about God wanting me to trust him 100% with everything, including finances. I know now that it is much bigger than that.
I recently made the decision, with MUCH prompting from God, to go back to school. This was not something I ever desired to do again. Who wants to fail at something for a 4th time? Not this girl! And I definitely did not want to add yet another school to my college transcripts, isn't 5 enough?
Well, I am adding another school to the list, but its the last one. How do I know this for sure? Because this time I'm not trying to do it all on my own. The control freak in me, the worry wart in me, the I can do this by myself in me have all been put to rest. I'm letting Jesus take the wheel, so to speak.
I had actually given up on going to school this fall. Nothing was falling into place, in fact it was becoming more than I cared to deal with. So I told Jesus, hey if this is what you really want me to do, can you help me out already? He probably laughed at me that day because I think he was just waiting for me to ask for help.
Ya know, once I found the right school and program, everything started to fall into place, without me having to put forth much effort. I know, this makes me sound like enjoy being lazy, but that's not what I mean. I had put so much time and energy into pursuing the wrong schools and the wrong program, that I was just over it. So, when I finally wised up and asked Jesus for help, he pretty much did everything. I sent one email and filled out an application. That's it. Of course I've had to fax documents and supply info for financial aid, but I'm not even worried about it like I normally would be.
It's like the worry gene was removed from my body. Remember when I posted about Phillipians 4:6 "Worry about nothing instead pray about everything..."? Well that's exactly waht I do now. If and when worry starts to creep in, I take a few moments and pray. I give it to God and tell him that if this is what he wants, he will make it happen, no matter what it is.
I registered Nate for pre-K recently and started to wonder how I was going to pay for his school too. But just as immediately as that worry started to sink it, I reminded myself to ask God for help. And ya know, I haven't worried about it since.
Now some of you are probably thinking, well doesn't Iowa pay for preschool? Probably if you send your child to an Iowa school, but I'm not, which is something that has been very important to me since before Nate was born.
I really want him to attend Christian school. At least for the first couple of years, we can reassess and see if we want to stick with it in a year or two, but for now, this is where my heart is for his education. It's not just because the school I'm sending him to has the same core values and beliefs, but they also provide a better education. Their test scores are 3-4% higher overall compared to other QC schools.
And yes, I know we are going to have the same challenges and struggles in a Christian school as we would in a public school as far as friends and influences go. But it's not about that for me, he will be in smaller class sizes so if he is struggling in something his teacher will have more time to spend with him on it. I attended the same school in elementary and I turned out ok! LOL
I can honestly tell you that everything that has happened this summer is because of Jesus and his amazing grace for me. I know I have said this before, but this truly has been the summer of all summers! I have spent every M-F with the best boys anyone could ask for. We go out and do fun things in our hometown that I would never have done without them, or if I had been working full time.
So to sum it all up, I don't have to worry about anything anymore because I know God's got it! His grace is more than enough for me when I make mistakes and ignore what he wants and his love pours out on me every day. I'm so happy I no longer have the same stresses and worries that I once used to have on a daily basis. Thank you PaPa!