Lots of changes going on.
So as you all know, I'm a single mom and that means I have struggles that most singles don't have and I have struggles that most married moms might not have. The main struggle is always being able to provide. Being a single income family is always a challenge, especially when it comes to buying a house or car. But its HUGE when you consider leaving a job without having another one lined up. So why would a single mom consider this? Because sometimes its in the best interest for her family.
And sometimes its because she thinks its what God wants her to do. I know here I go with the crazy God talk again, but its true. A few weeks ago, God had told me to surrender all to him. Its really hard to do that for me, I am a huge control freak. But the toughest area for me to surrender is the financial part of life. How can I trust God to pay my bills, provide food for the table, and have money for gas when the numbers don't add up? Probably because God doesn't care about the numbers. But I didn't always know/believe this. All I could see in front of me was the amount I was brining home in my paycheck and the amount I had going out for bills. Didn't always add up, at least not for me.
But then I had this horrible incident happen at work, and I was thrust into a belief and trust like I've never had before. I no longer feel safe at work. A new store opened up next door and it doesn't always attract the most savory clientel. Oftentimes you can hear the police sirens chasing a shoplifter, you can walk out the front door and see drug deals going on, and if you're lucky enough, you might just get to see a fight as well! But that isn't the worst part...the worst part is when you have an irate customer, who is no longer reasonable and completely out of control, in the store and it takes the cops 10 minutes to respond. And that 10 minute response was after I hit the panic button and called 911. So you see, its not really about the insane customer coming back, but the lack of urgency from the police. If that guy had a gun to my head, we wouldn't be having this conversation. It's time to move on.
I have no other job lined up. As of May 25th I am unemployed. But oddly enough, because I am putting it all in God's hands, I'm completely comfortable with this fact! I did borrow money from a family member to pay off my debt, but if you look at what I had for debt, it wasn't a great deal of money. I am paying it back as soon as I get a full time permanent job, but it does help to go into joblessness without having credit card debt or car payments hanging over my head. And it does feel good to know that my total debt, car and cc together, is less than what some people have on one credit card! Yes it does suck owing a family member money, but I believe it was the best for Nate and I.
What am I doing about my joblessness??? Well I'm obviously using all of the internet job boards and I'm also going to the temp agencies here in town as well. I want out of retail. I no longer enjoy being treated like I'm dumber than dumb just because I work retail. Guess what...I am smarter than a monkey and no a monkey can NOT do my job. Oh and when the door says we close at 6, we close at 6. I have a life and a family just like you do and I want to spend time with them too. If you can't get here by closing, not my problem. I will not reopen the store just for you. And shame on you for even thinking of asking me to do so! I wouldn't expect that of you in your business.
So the whole point of this is that I think my peace of mind and calmness is all from God. I truly believe he already has a job waiting for me. I just have to find it. And its going to be something I enjoy doing, not something I would dread doing. And it is most definitely not going to be retail! Hopefully it's something I can wear all of my cute shoes to ;)! I can't wait to tell you all about it!
